if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize