that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I understand Curling. That high.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Randomize
