either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
