I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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