either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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