were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize