Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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