He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
