I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
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