What a fucking waste of an outfit
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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