That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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