Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
