so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We left the knife in your bed.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
