Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
