Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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