he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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