He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
