his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
