I wish I could punch you in the face.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
