Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
