I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
