So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
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