I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
There's always time for handjobs
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
