question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Bring me that man meat
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
