I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
