ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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