im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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