i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
