I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
