Do you still have your period?
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
