I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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