wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
