I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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