Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
