Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
