your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize