Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
