WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
