You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
