i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
