i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
