I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
