Dude my mom stole all your condoms
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Randomize