Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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