ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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