thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
