Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
