We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
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