he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
