After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
