You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
