would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
