remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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