I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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