Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
