We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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