took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
