I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
